"Trying"

WARNING***This might be one of those post where I might be sharing "too much" information and feelings, but I sat in bed last night and had so many of these thoughts rushing to my head. I will try to put them together so they make sense. I just feel like they need to be written down, because it was really upsetting to me last night.

One of our challenges or trials, is that we have a hard time getting our children to our family. We "tried" for 3 years before we got Cooper. We "tried" for 2 years before we got Clayton. So, here we are again being met with the decision of when to "try" for another baby. We have tossed the idea around for the past 8 months, not really knowing when the right time would be.

Can I just say that I hate the words, "trying to get pregnant". For the average couple, "trying" means not preventing, having "relations" on a normal basis and then the next thing they know, they are pregnant. So, is that really "trying" to get pregnant? Then you have another couple that actually has to plan which nights they are going to have "relations", lay propped up for a few minutes after the before mentioned "relations" and then hope and pray that it worked night after night and month after month. Is that "trying" to get pregnant? And then I think of my friends who have to do in-vetro or adoption to have a baby....is that "trying"?

I have to admit that even though we have been blessed with two beautiful boys, it does not change the fact that it is still hard to "try" to get pregnant. It just brings back all the emotions of the struggle with infertility. Its like I never skipped a day of infertility and its all of a sudden fresh in my mind all these years later. I honestly thought it wouldn't be a big deal to "try to get pregnant" again, but boy was I wrong!

I have decided that I need to stay positive and take it one day at a time. The Lords plan for our family will never fail. I just need to be patient and have trust in Him.