For our Anniversary this year, Bryce and I got a babysitter to watch the kids and we went to dinner and a movie. We ate at Applebee's, where we both had steaks and mashed potatoes. Afterwards, we watch Sherlock Holmes II. The first half was slow, but the last half picked it up. It was nice to spend the evening together. I am thankful that I have been married to such a wonderful man the past 11 years. The kids and I are blessed to have him in our lives. We have survived our up and downs the past 11 years, and I am happy that I have had Bryce by my side the whole time. Love you Bryce!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Sledding in a Winter Wonder Land
Sunday, December 25, 2011
I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas....
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Results
For those of you who have done IVF, you know what the last three weeks has felt like to me. It's very stressful and its a constant worry, and waiting, and wondering. And then internally, you are trying to have hope and faith, but also protect yourself in case your expectations aren't met.
And no matter how hard you try to focus on other things (like the upcoming Christmas holidays) , in the back your mind, you have a weight tugging on your heart and mind and body....
and you feel like you are literally holding your breath for a few weeks...and then there's the emotional part of it....when you just can't take any more and you break down a cry for a few minutes....then your back on your feet again ready to face it all over.
Last Sunday was our big day to go back to the doctor to get my blood drawn and to find out if I was pregnant. They drew my blood at 8:45 am and then we headed home. Bryce and I paced the floor while we waited and waited and waited for the phone call. The call finally came in at 11:30. Our nurse, Heidi, proceeds to tell me that they like to see HCG levels be around 100, but that mine was at 67. She told me that I was pregnant and not to be discouraged. She said that they thought it might be the beginning of a pregnancy and that I needed to go get blood work done again in 48 hours.
Bryce and I really struggled for half the day. We weren't sure how we should be feeling...happy or sad....joyful or worried.....excited or cautious. We decided later that day that we would try to be positive and have faith. We called our family and told them the news. Everyone was excited. We told Clayton and Cooper and they seemed to be happy. The nurse told us we were pregnant, so that was something that needed to be celebrated.
This past Tuesday, December the 20th, I went to McKay Dee Hospital to get my blood work done. I was pretty antsy while waiting for the results. We were told we would know by noon, but I never received a call, so I called the doctor at 1:30....."I am sorry Jennifer, but I have bad news for you. Your numbers dropped to 30, so something is wrong with the pregnancy. Continue to take your meds and go get your blood drawn again in 2 days, just to make sure."
Well, I was literally shocked. That was completely opposite of the news "I knew" I was going to hear that day. It really rocked my world. I expected that everything would be fine and that nothing would go wrong. When you have these "expectations" that build for weeks and weeks, it is hard to pick yourself up after those expectations have been destroyed.
I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for our family and I really hope that that plan includes more children. I really feel like Bryce and I will be blessed with another child, its just going to have to happen a different way. These past 10 years, we have tried every option, and with this last IVF, we have done everything possible to try to get pregnant. Its out our hands now and we can completely turn it over to the Lord. He will direct our paths and give us the peace and comfort that we need. I don't always understand why certain things happen in this life, but I know that they happen for a reason. Heavenly Father is all-knowing and he has a certain time line for things that happen. Our family has received many blessings and I know Heavenly Father will continue to pour out more blessings on our family. We have the two most amazing boys and we have been blessed with the greatest family and friends on this Earth. Thank you to all of our friends and family who have loved and supported us this past year. We wouldn't be where we are without each of you!
And no matter how hard you try to focus on other things (like the upcoming Christmas holidays) , in the back your mind, you have a weight tugging on your heart and mind and body....
and you feel like you are literally holding your breath for a few weeks...and then there's the emotional part of it....when you just can't take any more and you break down a cry for a few minutes....then your back on your feet again ready to face it all over.
Last Sunday was our big day to go back to the doctor to get my blood drawn and to find out if I was pregnant. They drew my blood at 8:45 am and then we headed home. Bryce and I paced the floor while we waited and waited and waited for the phone call. The call finally came in at 11:30. Our nurse, Heidi, proceeds to tell me that they like to see HCG levels be around 100, but that mine was at 67. She told me that I was pregnant and not to be discouraged. She said that they thought it might be the beginning of a pregnancy and that I needed to go get blood work done again in 48 hours.
Bryce and I really struggled for half the day. We weren't sure how we should be feeling...happy or sad....joyful or worried.....excited or cautious. We decided later that day that we would try to be positive and have faith. We called our family and told them the news. Everyone was excited. We told Clayton and Cooper and they seemed to be happy. The nurse told us we were pregnant, so that was something that needed to be celebrated.
This past Tuesday, December the 20th, I went to McKay Dee Hospital to get my blood work done. I was pretty antsy while waiting for the results. We were told we would know by noon, but I never received a call, so I called the doctor at 1:30....."I am sorry Jennifer, but I have bad news for you. Your numbers dropped to 30, so something is wrong with the pregnancy. Continue to take your meds and go get your blood drawn again in 2 days, just to make sure."
Well, I was literally shocked. That was completely opposite of the news "I knew" I was going to hear that day. It really rocked my world. I expected that everything would be fine and that nothing would go wrong. When you have these "expectations" that build for weeks and weeks, it is hard to pick yourself up after those expectations have been destroyed.
I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for our family and I really hope that that plan includes more children. I really feel like Bryce and I will be blessed with another child, its just going to have to happen a different way. These past 10 years, we have tried every option, and with this last IVF, we have done everything possible to try to get pregnant. Its out our hands now and we can completely turn it over to the Lord. He will direct our paths and give us the peace and comfort that we need. I don't always understand why certain things happen in this life, but I know that they happen for a reason. Heavenly Father is all-knowing and he has a certain time line for things that happen. Our family has received many blessings and I know Heavenly Father will continue to pour out more blessings on our family. We have the two most amazing boys and we have been blessed with the greatest family and friends on this Earth. Thank you to all of our friends and family who have loved and supported us this past year. We wouldn't be where we are without each of you!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Birthday Blues
On the 20th of December, Bryce and I found out that things went wrong with the IVF and pregnancy. It was a very hard week. I really tried to be happy but had a hard time making that happen. The next day was my birthday and while many friends and family sent me happy birthday wishes, it was also a day of mourning for me. I tried to make it a happy day that best I could. Jacqui and Bekka also helped by taking me out to lunch at Jason's Deli. I spent most of the day at Jacqui's and then Bryce and I went to a movie that night. We saw Mission Impossible. It was really good and helped take my mind off everything for 2 hours. Also, Bryce bought me a Polar watch that tracks heart rate and calories. I have been wanting one for sometime now, so I was very excited about that. Its a great watch and a perfect color for me. All in all, it was a good day....just a lot of ups and downs that day. Looking forward to a happier "Birth Day" in 2012!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Sorenson Christmas Party
Every year the Sorenson family has a Christmas Party in Smithfield. The Sorenson family is Bryce's mom, Marilyn's, family. We always meet at the club house for sloppy joes and yummy desserts. It's always nice to see some of the family that we don't get to see very often.
We also got to see Brandon and Jill and their kids. In fact, when I sat down on the couch, I got bombarded by all the kids...I still win the award for Most Favorite Aunt....just kidding! But it was nice to sit and visit with the kids.
We played the white elephant games, which is a tradition at this party. With there being over 40 people, it takes quite a while and can get boring at times. It was nice to have Kassie and Jaden keep me company.
Clayton was excited because he got a Thomas the Train engine. He kept running back and forth between me, Bryce, and Papa. He would drive his train up our arms or legs and then run off to play on someone else. Cooper got a transformer. He played Hide N Seek with the kids. We had a good time that night and we look forward to it next year!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Gingerbread Homes
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Christmas Party in Wellsville
Friday, December 9, 2011
All Aboard!!!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
The Day of Transfer
On Tuesday, November 29th, I went in for an ultrasound. The doctor wanted to check the lining of my uterus and make sure it was thick and healthy. It is supposed to be at least 7 mm thick and mine was at 17 mm thick. That night I stopped doing the Lupron shot, decreased my estrogen, and started the progesterone shot.
One week later, on December 6th, Bryce and I headed down to the hospital for my transfer. They took us into a special room where I was prepared for the procedure. We had Dr. Petersen doing the transfer that day. He walked into the room, handed us a card with a picture of our 3 embryos on it and said, "Here are your babies." He preceded to tell us about their quality (1 being very low quality and 2 being good quality). He told us that he would feel comfortable transferring 2 or 3. He then told us it was time for a "family meeting" and that he would give us all the time we needed to decide how many to transfer. Bryce and I shared our thoughts with each other and then decided unanimously that we wanted to do all 3. We felt like if we transferred all three, it would give us a greater chance and we also felt like we didn't want to leave one of the embryos behind. I was really emotional during this time and my loving husband said, "Jenn, if it is supposed to work, it will....if it doesn't then we will be fine and we know that we have two boys who love us and we love them." I already knew this, but it was so nice to hear it from my husband.
The doctor walked in and we told him our answer. He said, "I think that is a good decision. I would have done the same thing." He gave me two Valium and then did an ultrasound on my stomach to find my uterus. The embryologist came into our room, had me verify the vial with my name and birthday and then handed it to the doctor. The doctor read my name and birthday to me and then the embryologist took it back to his lab and we got to watch him suck our 3 embryos into a catheter up on the screen. He then brought them to the doctor. The doctor put that catheter into another "guiding catheter" and transferred them into my uterus. They double checked to make sure the embryos were not left in the catheter and then we were finished. The doctor came up to me, shook my hand, looked me in the eyes and said, "Good luck. I will be praying for you." I couldn't stop the tears from coming. I was very impressed with this doctor. He was very caring and made me feel like we were the most important people to him at that moment.
After I rested for 30 minutes in the chair, a nurse (who helped us with our first IVF cycle) came into our room and helped me into a wheelchair and down to the truck. The employees who work there are great and I can tell they love their jobs and helping people like us to have families.
On the way home, my wonderful husband picked up some Little Caesar's pizza and bread sticks for us. We got home, ate lunch, and then I fell asleep till Coop got home from school. I was on bed rest all Tuesday and mostly on Wednesday. I owe thanks to so many people....Jacqui for always being there for us and for watching and caring my little Clayton, Holly for sitting with me for a few hours, Sallie, Rachel, Lori, and Julie for bringing food into our family....and the many, many family and friends' thoughts, prayers, and fasting on our behalf....I received so many nice texts and phone calls. I am so blessed to have so many people that love me and my family. Thanks for being so great to us. You are the best!
One week later, on December 6th, Bryce and I headed down to the hospital for my transfer. They took us into a special room where I was prepared for the procedure. We had Dr. Petersen doing the transfer that day. He walked into the room, handed us a card with a picture of our 3 embryos on it and said, "Here are your babies." He preceded to tell us about their quality (1 being very low quality and 2 being good quality). He told us that he would feel comfortable transferring 2 or 3. He then told us it was time for a "family meeting" and that he would give us all the time we needed to decide how many to transfer. Bryce and I shared our thoughts with each other and then decided unanimously that we wanted to do all 3. We felt like if we transferred all three, it would give us a greater chance and we also felt like we didn't want to leave one of the embryos behind. I was really emotional during this time and my loving husband said, "Jenn, if it is supposed to work, it will....if it doesn't then we will be fine and we know that we have two boys who love us and we love them." I already knew this, but it was so nice to hear it from my husband.
The doctor walked in and we told him our answer. He said, "I think that is a good decision. I would have done the same thing." He gave me two Valium and then did an ultrasound on my stomach to find my uterus. The embryologist came into our room, had me verify the vial with my name and birthday and then handed it to the doctor. The doctor read my name and birthday to me and then the embryologist took it back to his lab and we got to watch him suck our 3 embryos into a catheter up on the screen. He then brought them to the doctor. The doctor put that catheter into another "guiding catheter" and transferred them into my uterus. They double checked to make sure the embryos were not left in the catheter and then we were finished. The doctor came up to me, shook my hand, looked me in the eyes and said, "Good luck. I will be praying for you." I couldn't stop the tears from coming. I was very impressed with this doctor. He was very caring and made me feel like we were the most important people to him at that moment.
After I rested for 30 minutes in the chair, a nurse (who helped us with our first IVF cycle) came into our room and helped me into a wheelchair and down to the truck. The employees who work there are great and I can tell they love their jobs and helping people like us to have families.
On the way home, my wonderful husband picked up some Little Caesar's pizza and bread sticks for us. We got home, ate lunch, and then I fell asleep till Coop got home from school. I was on bed rest all Tuesday and mostly on Wednesday. I owe thanks to so many people....Jacqui for always being there for us and for watching and caring my little Clayton, Holly for sitting with me for a few hours, Sallie, Rachel, Lori, and Julie for bringing food into our family....and the many, many family and friends' thoughts, prayers, and fasting on our behalf....I received so many nice texts and phone calls. I am so blessed to have so many people that love me and my family. Thanks for being so great to us. You are the best!
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